This week has been a little crazier than most it seems like. For one, I have taken action in creating my website to showcase my work, but also really get back into the process of job searching/ internship searching. I came to a revelation going into this week. It was that I am the only one who can pave my future within the design world, and it starts with my actions. For so long, I think I have been very unsure of myself and although proud of what I have created, being too timid. So I decided to change that attitude. Within one week, I have been able to create a website, update my LinkedIn profile, and apply to 50 jobs within the past 5 days. I must say, very proud of myself, and felt very accomplished for the first time in a long time.
This brings me to my creative process. I guess procrastination can get to the best of us. But for me, I think the procrastination was part of my design process that I had never really looked too deep into. Yes, life and many things can get in the way and make it hard for you to focus and prioritize. But for me, procrastination became more of a coping mechanism with me not feeling confident in what I was doing. I shouldn’t have to have people tell me words of encouragement to get me to this very content place. But instead it should be the other way around. This is what I realized this week when devoting time to our Exploration B. It made me wonder, “Why is it so hard to believe in the work?”. This made me dig deeper into my thoughts about the creative process. Without have value within yourself, are you able to have value placed into your work? And if, there is value, would it become more negative as a result? In my personal experience with my work, I have found that I can’t just tell myself, “Hey, you kicked a**!” or “You knocked it outta the park!”. Constantly with that type of mindset instilled within me, I have found that I just cannot cut myself a break. This then takes a toll on my work, and in turn ends up being more safe.
This isn’t what I want to define my work! Being the ‘safe’ one. So what I have decided to instill within my process is that I take a moment to just focus on my successes, realizing that I cannot be the ‘people pleaser’ all the time, and be able to commend my work for being great when the recognition is there. This week was truly a revelation internally that I had found. I now want to really want to spend time devoted on celebrating my successes first, before my failures. I feel a sense of empowerment, that I have been able to take back what is mine, and that is my voice, my value.