For this final post, we are asked to reflect on what I have found out about myself and my creative process, whether or not I have experienced moments of ‘creative wonder’, and in what ways my perspective on graphic design practice has changed.

What I’ve found out about myself: I can be pushed, and I do perform well under stress, however, I strive for a balanced life and so there’s a line I wouldn’t cross in my pursuit for a meaningful career and my attempt to create a valuable body of work. I refuse to let any kind of pressure interfere with my health or the quality of my personal relationships.

This quarter, I was asked (by myself of course – all that I’m discussing are personal choices or decisions) to adapt to a challenging new job that required skills way outside my comfort zone, to create unusually and unusual work, and to revise said work beyond of what’s possible within the 16/17 hour a days I had allocated for productive pursuits. I am glad to say I survived. How well I’ve done remainns to be seen.

I have experience a moment of ‘creative wonder’. I set out to do a satire on social media using facebook as a platform. I realized at some point that I was creating personal work that was reaching more people than I had ever anticipated it would, involving very little actual ‘design’ and using a medium I used to loath… And I wondered.

I created a website that was meant to engage users in a very interactive way. Part of the concept was the mystery and the vagueness. I thought it didn’t work so well, I though my assumptions, my biases were a little too… Biased. I am finding out that testers worked to solve the site to its last page, and these testers never bothered to give any feedback back then. I forgot what I knew about the lonely intellectual types I had in mind when I came up with the project.

I was constantly overwhelmed by the work of my classmates. I found out that I had some expectations, or lack of expectations that were proven wrong almost every time. I will refrain from naming the individuals and the projects that – mostly -overwhelmed me.

I was reminded that I am in search of a purpose in life, that I would like to make a difference. How do I manage this urge with my very high priority on setting time for personal and family investment, I do not know yet.

There a fire that has been rekindled somewhere deep inside of me. I hope I can avoid sleep deprivation. It makes me cranky.

To whomever reading this blog from 701 or 702, thank you for a great semester.

Rachid signing off for tonight.

701 has been a hybrid course on design methodologies and a 2-part research paper. I would very much like to use this last open Blog to recap my impressions on both parts of the course.

Dissecting and analyzing art and dissecting and analyzing the way it’s created is a major part of any artist’s/ creative’s growth, but it can be such a turnoff while it’s happening… I feel that there is something sacrilegious about exposing the workings behind the magic, or analyzing what should by all rights be an instinctive process. Someone told me: “Work is not fun. If it were, no one would get paid to do it.” Unfortunately, I keep realizing how true this is. The ‘instinctive’ bit has only so much mileage in it. We have to keep getting outside of our comfort zones to stay healthily productive, and that’s a painful process. It’s especially painful because we keep getting fooled into thinking that what we do as designers is ‘fun’.

The research paper(s) “Convergence between Art and Code” threw me into readings and writings on the state of Web Design these present days. There are no authorities on the matter and the only common thing in the ‘market’ and in ‘academia’ these past couple of decades is a wariness from technology and a trend of slow and sluggish responses to the latest developments. The technology and art love-hate relationship is a Telenovella that seems far from over. The most relevant observation for Graphic Designers is that businesses are choosing to err on the safe side while looking for new recruits and it’s common to see job postings asking for applicants to be knowledgeable in an impossibly wide array of artistic and technical skills.

The problem with being an idealist is that you tend to give up before you even try because you know just how futile it is to try and get something perfect. That applies to design and to everything else in my life. I’ve had to deal with accusations of being lazy and I had no idea how to explain just how overwhelming the imperfect nature of everything that we are and everything that we do can be to me. To deal with that crippling personality trait, I taught myself how to ‘show up and do my job’ regardless. I learned how to set long term and short term goals and take one step after another to achieve them. The problem is that this can be a recipe for mediocre.

I am somewhat smart so I learn fast and create easily. That helps

I don’t have any grand ambitions, that doesn’t help

I can find ‘flow’ when I work and that’s the best driver/cause for anything decent I’ve done professionally

I empathize with the homeless and the sick (especially mentally). I think about our mortality and the human condition in general. I want my life to have meaning, I want to leave this world a better place than when I came to it. I don’t know how to do it on a grand scale: I don’t believe that I can create an instance of disruptive wonder through my work that’s strong enough to make a real difference… So I give a lot of time and energy to the people around me: My wife and my brothers.

These are random thoughts, but all of these play a role in how I pursue moments of performance/ moments of disruptive wonder. I am not ‘career oriented’ and I think ambition is a double edged sword. I am constantly looking for a ‘noble pursuit’ and until I find it, the only disruptive wonder I purposefully seek to create is disruptive wonder to myself.