For this final post, we are asked to reflect on what I have found out about myself and my creative process, whether or not I have experienced moments of ‘creative wonder’, and in what ways my perspective on graphic design practice has changed.

What I’ve found out about myself: I can be pushed, and I do perform well under stress, however, I strive for a balanced life and so there’s a line I wouldn’t cross in my pursuit for a meaningful career and my attempt to create a valuable body of work. I refuse to let any kind of pressure interfere with my health or the quality of my personal relationships.

This quarter, I was asked (by myself of course – all that I’m discussing are personal choices or decisions) to adapt to a challenging new job that required skills way outside my comfort zone, to create unusually and unusual work, and to revise said work beyond of what’s possible within the 16/17 hour a days I had allocated for productive pursuits. I am glad to say I survived. How well I’ve done remainns to be seen.

I have experience a moment of ‘creative wonder’. I set out to do a satire on social media using facebook as a platform. I realized at some point that I was creating personal work that was reaching more people than I had ever anticipated it would, involving very little actual ‘design’ and using a medium I used to loath… And I wondered.

I created a website that was meant to engage users in a very interactive way. Part of the concept was the mystery and the vagueness. I thought it didn’t work so well, I though my assumptions, my biases were a little too… Biased. I am finding out that testers worked to solve the site to its last page, and these testers never bothered to give any feedback back then. I forgot what I knew about the lonely intellectual types I had in mind when I came up with the project.

I was constantly overwhelmed by the work of my classmates. I found out that I had some expectations, or lack of expectations that were proven wrong almost every time. I will refrain from naming the individuals and the projects that – mostly -overwhelmed me.

I was reminded that I am in search of a purpose in life, that I would like to make a difference. How do I manage this urge with my very high priority on setting time for personal and family investment, I do not know yet.

There a fire that has been rekindled somewhere deep inside of me. I hope I can avoid sleep deprivation. It makes me cranky.

To whomever reading this blog from 701 or 702, thank you for a great semester.

Rachid signing off for tonight.

701 has been a hybrid course on design methodologies and a 2-part research paper. I would very much like to use this last open Blog to recap my impressions on both parts of the course.

Dissecting and analyzing art and dissecting and analyzing the way it’s created is a major part of any artist’s/ creative’s growth, but it can be such a turnoff while it’s happening… I feel that there is something sacrilegious about exposing the workings behind the magic, or analyzing what should by all rights be an instinctive process. Someone told me: “Work is not fun. If it were, no one would get paid to do it.” Unfortunately, I keep realizing how true this is. The ‘instinctive’ bit has only so much mileage in it. We have to keep getting outside of our comfort zones to stay healthily productive, and that’s a painful process. It’s especially painful because we keep getting fooled into thinking that what we do as designers is ‘fun’.

The research paper(s) “Convergence between Art and Code” threw me into readings and writings on the state of Web Design these present days. There are no authorities on the matter and the only common thing in the ‘market’ and in ‘academia’ these past couple of decades is a wariness from technology and a trend of slow and sluggish responses to the latest developments. The technology and art love-hate relationship is a Telenovella that seems far from over. The most relevant observation for Graphic Designers is that businesses are choosing to err on the safe side while looking for new recruits and it’s common to see job postings asking for applicants to be knowledgeable in an impossibly wide array of artistic and technical skills.

The problem with being an idealist is that you tend to give up before you even try because you know just how futile it is to try and get something perfect. That applies to design and to everything else in my life. I’ve had to deal with accusations of being lazy and I had no idea how to explain just how overwhelming the imperfect nature of everything that we are and everything that we do can be to me. To deal with that crippling personality trait, I taught myself how to ‘show up and do my job’ regardless. I learned how to set long term and short term goals and take one step after another to achieve them. The problem is that this can be a recipe for mediocre.

I am somewhat smart so I learn fast and create easily. That helps

I don’t have any grand ambitions, that doesn’t help

I can find ‘flow’ when I work and that’s the best driver/cause for anything decent I’ve done professionally

I empathize with the homeless and the sick (especially mentally). I think about our mortality and the human condition in general. I want my life to have meaning, I want to leave this world a better place than when I came to it. I don’t know how to do it on a grand scale: I don’t believe that I can create an instance of disruptive wonder through my work that’s strong enough to make a real difference… So I give a lot of time and energy to the people around me: My wife and my brothers.

These are random thoughts, but all of these play a role in how I pursue moments of performance/ moments of disruptive wonder. I am not ‘career oriented’ and I think ambition is a double edged sword. I am constantly looking for a ‘noble pursuit’ and until I find it, the only disruptive wonder I purposefully seek to create is disruptive wonder to myself.

From Unit 7′s discussion board: “I’ve just been shut down! Bianca Wyatt, Cindy Erella, Alfonze Prince, Josef Wolfe, Scarlet Hood and Aggy-Lee Steppesista, all healthy Facebook characters prior to these 5 minutes are no more.”

FB shut down my project which is essentially a social (mostly negative) commentary on FB using a Disney FB profiles platform to satirize relationships that play out online.

Here’s how the project came to be, from a trip in time to Unit 6′s discussion board: “I’m thinking of using social media (Facebook) to comment on social media and how much I loath it. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not passing judgement on anyone. My wife loves Facebook and she’s my favorite person! I just don’t like Facebook and I don’t like how it sizes down people and relationships. Anytime I try to interact on Facebook I end up with the feeling of having ingested too much empty-socializing calories. I feel mentally sick like my body feels when I eat at McDonald’s, and I don’t even get to enjoy the process of posting/reading posts like I enjoy the process of ingesting fries with a sugary drink and some obscure parts of a cow (supposedly). Who: My target audience is my circle of friends (they friended me btw) and maybe the friends of my friends? What: My message is Facebook can ruin relationships if not used carefully and in moderation.Why: I’ve seen it happen. How: My tentative idea is to create a whole bunch of fictitious Facebook characters (Cinderella, Stepsister1, Stepsister2, Big Bad Wolf, Snow White, etc…) and have these characters’ relationships deteriorate (humorously) one thoughtless posting at a time.”

So what now? I’ve found out that I get this delicious and tingling happy feeling when I hit rock-bottom, usually hidden under layers of despair and self-pity. I guess that a little part of me realizes that from this point forward, the only direction things can go is up. I got a second wind. I am feeling energized. The project just grew in scale. I need to recruit fearless volunteers who can lend me their IP adresses and their long-standing email accounts to start over on a new attempt at etablishing my platform.

Fingers crossed…

I’m taking advantage of this open blog to take a break and share a few great links (IMO):

NewSilk at http://new.weavesilk.com/?uopf shared by Curtis Nelson

This superb website lets you use different colors combined with mouse sensitivity and symmetrical or asymmetrical brushes to create stunning visuals in a second. It’s like a Design cheat tool or even God Mode, so much so that I would rather spend hours on photoshop creating lighting effects that use this thing in a real project…

Drag and Drop Music at http://www.incredibox.com/en/#/application shared by my brother Ramez Mrad

You just HAVE to take the time to explore this incredible website. Well you don’t HAVE to no, but it’s your loss.

http://27bslash6.com/ is an awesome ‘thing’ shared by professor Jason Fox at SCAD

Read the ‘foggot’ thread. It’s hilarious.

Hope you enjoy those, and please share any outstanding resources. Back to real work with me.

I guess it’s a fair question to ask in a Design Methodologies Seminar…

Going through the compilation in Hugh Dubberly’s : How Do You Design? I found myself attracted to the simple and effective diagram on page 26, The Gradual Shift of Focus from Analysis to Synthesis after Bill Newkirk (1981).

I am attracted to the diagram because it’s a visual of my own process at it’s simplest. I believe that I would like to keep that essence of the process intact, no matter how much and how deeply I dive into the specifics of Analysis and Synthesis.

I am finding that a focus on a step of the process really comes in the way of the whole ‘flow’ and tends to blindside me/ og me down. I am thinking of the linear try I had at Concept Map -> Outline -> Writing in 701 or Concept Map -> Ideation -> Design in 702. The concept map opened up an abyss in front of me. I’ve since learned to use that tool not within a linear process, but in conjunction with writing/ ideation and design.

Going into specific Analysis techniques: I tend to think in metaphors/ similes and all kind of visual and conceptual juxtaposing techniques, but I think a different POV tool such as Noor’s ‘Pyramid’ or the ‘Manipulative Verbs’ technique can really help me out of a dry spell, especially when I zoom in down a path a little too quickly. These tools are a kind of ‘soft’ reset.

As far as Synthesis techniques, I’ve mentioned in an earlier post my lack of use of thumbnails and sketches and how I would like to disrupt my process by re-exploring these time-honed techniques. I am still wary of breaking my synthesizing heuristic biases though. I guess I’m afraid I’d hit a wall while trying something new and I really can’t afford any walls right now. As it is, I’m barely meeting deadlines (all kind of deadlines, including wifely ones).

Thanks for reading.

Harris Kim, 2003.
Martin Shoeller

The notion of disruptive wonder is not new to me. That concept comes up in any and all context where transformative change is discussed, be it a the Landmark Forum (a powerful educational workshop – slightly cultish with a hint of pyramid scheme) or the introductory course GRDS 504 (the 4th order of design – Tony Golsby-Smith).

The process varies slightly but is built on the same foundation: finding new perspectives. It sounds very easy right? Well it’s not, for a couple of reasons.

We are hardwired into seeing the world from our own perspective. How many of us can really maintain a lucid frame of mind and realize that our reality is and always will be subjective?

Let me explain: I believed as a kid that the ‘moon follows the car’ somehow when my dad was driving. His vague explanation involving distances and perspectives made absolutely no sense to me. I believed my eyes and they told me what was true. A few years later, I knew that the earth and the moon were a long distance apart compared to the car and the trees, so it was a matter of prspetcive and perception that the moon seemed to be stationary to the moving car while the trees were going past.

If my reality could change within a few short years then, what new reality am I going to have in another few years into the future (assuming I survive another few years)? How is my reality now different than my wife’s? Is there a range of reality for the common masses that makes nationhood, wars, and suffering in distant places on earth seem somehow acceptable?

How deluded are most of us when we live day after day as if we were not dying?

Am I lucid and do I have a higher plane of perspective that most? If so, how many individuals out there are on an even higher plane of consciousness and are unable to reach out to others just because people are only able to see within their own frame of reality? Whenever one of these Gurus finds a way to reach others (by words or example or a visual) disruptive wonder is created.

So there are two prerequisites to creating disruptive wonder:
1- See something with ‘new eyes’, meaning; an unusual reality.
2- Find a way to share the unusual reality with others.

The first part comes easy-ish to me. The second part is where I have trouble.
Seeing something with new eyes is a time-consuming endeavor that involves a lot of personal growth and an introverted/extroverted exploration.
Sharing that necessitates unusual empathy and a mastery of communication skills.

I would like to share an mundane, fun, and striking example of disruptive wonder to end this blog on a less ‘psychological’ note. Check out Martin Schoeller’s gallery on female bodybuilders.

Buddhists advise us to “act always as if the future of the universe depended on what you did, while laughing at yourself for thinking that whatever you do makes any difference.” (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, “Finding Flow”)

The psychologytoday.com article particularly resonated with me. I have gone through a bad depression a few years ago and the way I found to pull myself out of it included most if not all of the concepts discussed in the article. I found that reorganizing the physical space I lived in helped. I also found ‘flow’ and relief from stress and anxiety in physical exercise. I re-discovered martial arts and yoga. I developed ‘mindfulness’ and really started listening to my senses of taste, touch, hearing and vision. I learned how to recognize flow and I started to look for it. I have quit ‘dry’ jobs at huge economic risk to myself to fill my life with the activities that gave me ‘flow’. I’ve left behind management (more than once) to find my way into teaching, learning, and creative pursuits.

I currently ‘flow’ every day at work coding for web design. Every single day. Music helps me find the flow and stay on it (I like French oldies, chillout lounge, and acoustic lounge right now – subject to change without notice). When I’m not on a contract or working a full time job, I juggle two sources of flow: Strenuous physical exercise and Design (freelance, personal, a gift for a friend or a family member, whatever. As long as it keeps me busy). As I mentioned earlier, teaching and/or learning also provide immense satisfaction.

However, I do experience moments where I feel ‘empty’ after periods of excessive productivity, which leads me to believe that there is such a thing as excessive work and to have balance in life, one needs those periods of ‘sitting in the sun and doing nothing’ away from work – even work that ‘flows’.

Thanks for reading.