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Cartman would hate me. lawllll…

February 11th, 2009 by Bridget

Since you guys aren’t giving me any motivation.

These are quotes from Eric Cartman XD

-I don’t hate black people. I hate hippies.

-I’ve been keeping this place free of hippies

since I was five and a half.

-I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always

talk about “protectin’ the earth” and then

drive around in cars that get poor gas

mileage and wear those stupid bracelets - I

hate ‘em! I wanna kick ‘em in the nuts!

-French people piss me off.

-M’am, I’m here to check your house for

parasites … apparently, you have hippies.

-Naw dude, Independent films are those

black and white hippy movies. They’re always

about gay cowboys eating pudding.

-Hippies.They’re everywhere. They wanna

save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot

and smell bad.

Stan: I don’t want to shoot the bunny.

Uncle Jimbo: No nephew of mine is going to be a tree hugger.

Cartman: Yeah, hippie. Go back to Woodstock if you don’t wnat to shoot anything.

I’m trying to make the best out of a bad situation. I don’t

need to hear crap from a bunch of hippie freaks living in

denial! Screw you guys, I’m going home.

Dolphins, eskimos, who cares? It’s all a bunch

of tree hugging hippie crap.

(Talking to the hippies.) What’s wrong is that more of you are showing up everyday and I need to find out why!

Alright, in you go.
(Throws a hippie down the stairs in his basement.)

Cartman: (Spraying a hippie with a fire extinguisher.) GODDAMN HIPPIES!
Hippie: Whoa man!
Cartman: GET OUTTA HERE!
Hippie: Not cool! (Walks away)

These are what we call the giggling stoners, pretty common form of hippies, usually found in the attics. Problem is, if you see one hippie, there are probably a whole more you’re not seeing.

Cartman: Hello, ma’am. I’m working to clean up the neighborhood for parasites. Do you mind if I take a look around your house? I’m afraid you may have hippies.
Old Lady: Hippies?
Cartman: Yeah, they’ve been popping up all over the neighborhood lately. (Walks in and knocks on the walls) Ms. Nelson next door has seven hippies in her basement, they usually live in colonies.

They’re not people, they’re hippies!

Cartman: Mayor! Mayor! It’s just as I suspected. The hippies are organizing for a music jam fest!
Mayor: I know. I signed the permit for it.
Cartman: You… you what?
Mayor: I signed the permit allowing them to have their little music fest here. It just might pump some money into the community.
Cartman: They’re hippies, they don’t have money!

Cartman: “Ma’am, I need to clear out your giggling stoners and your drum-circle hippies right now, or soon they’re going to attract something much worse”
Old Lady: “What’s that?”
Cartman: “The college know-it-all hippies”

“Hippies HATE deathmetal.”

“I know why drugs are bad. If you do drugs you’re a hippie. And hippies suck.”

Only three more hours, sea people. Only three more hours and you can take me away from this crappy goddamn planet full of hippies.

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Random Quotes that are making me Happier.

February 11th, 2009 by Bridget

Due to lack of melatonin…”A government is the only vessel known to leak from the top.” –James Reston

“Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a seat has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.”—Shallow Thoughts

On the subject of Zen: Have you ever tried to think like a shower?—Chris Stevens (Northern Exposure)

“Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.” –’The Wheel in Space’, (2nd) Doctor Who

“Those who have imagination without learning have wings but no feet.” –Anon.

Eighty percent of success is showing up. -Woody Allen

If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect. -Ted Turner

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. -Joey Adams

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done. -Sam Ewing

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much time. -Rudyard Kipling

My father always told me, “Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” -Jim Fox

While an original is always hard to find, he is easy to recognize. -John L. Mason

If a window of opportunity appears, don’t pull down the shade. -Tom Peters

The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. -Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf

The future has a way of arriving unannounced. -George Will

Hide not your talents; they for use were made. What’s a sundial in the shade? -Benjamin Franklin

What is defeat, other than the God given opportunity to do it again, the right way!

Going to war without the French is like going bear hunting without a piano. -Dennis Miller

“No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.” -Oscar Wilde

“How are you dodging my shots! Are you anticipating the bullet from the angle of my gun or the movement of my hand?” Vash–”No, you’re just a bad shot”. –Trigun

“Time, for all its smuggling in of new problems, conspicuously cancels others.” -Clara Winston

“An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.” -Sam Ewing

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
–Erma Bombeck

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. –Jennifer Unlimited

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. –Jennifer Unlimited

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to serve as a horrible warning. –Catherine Aird

Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point (The heart has its reasons, whereof reason knows nothing.) -Pascal

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
–Charlotte Whitton

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